Commuting

Plugged into my iPod (yes - i finally sold out when I couldn't find the iriver clix in the 3d country that i visited and decided to settle on an ipod and make my contribution towards making it even more ubiquitous than it is now!) I hardly sense things the same way. Images from reality. A bit like tripping really. Images flashing by. Memories floating in.

Bunking class and sitting around with TK and A - general bullshit. With A though, all conversations eventually turned to girls and sex and how he was so sure he would score with this girl or that.

Walking around in town, four beer bottles in a plastic bag clasped tight to my chest. Kraz asking me "Don't you think that looks so suspiciously like two beer bottles?" And my retort "No way! It looks like four beer bottles"

Colaba. Mondy's. Meeting T. and sizing him up before persuading him that we should join forces in our apartment hunt. 80s music floating all around. Come to think of it, b'bay now is 80s US. The same new found liberal sex, drugs etc. The same go-go market which cares not two hoots about how or why as long as you make money. Investment Banking and Research in bed together. Chinese walls? Who are we kidding!

Gold's gym. The hotspot for beautiful people. And one rather ungainly young man - me. Looking around and deciding that I had to at least try.

Feeling her push her pen into my tummy from under the bench for the math quiz answers. And me yelping loud enough for the teacher to hear.

No, I am just buzzed from alcohol. No drugs. Not any more. For the time being at least. I am escaping from escapism - occasional lapses with the aid of alcohol are not long lasting and not as addictive.

Stealing my friend's car as a five year old because he had too many toys and then justifying it to myself saying that Robin Hood did the same. Shamefacedly returning it a few weeks later after being found out by my mom and being yelled at. Remind me to tell my kids that Robin Hood is an evil guy who should have been quartered and hung.

Walking along the cherry blossom trees. The world framed by their pink and the blue of the sky.

Making love.

Fighting.

Falling down into bed. Looking at her eyes and suddenly being full of desire. The second before we kissed.

Playing monopoly.

Playing footsie. And forgetting to take my shoes off because I was buzzed.

Being shocked that M. hadn't noticed my blue shoes (which I'd thought were so cool and so unlike normal sneakers) and taking her to the living room in the middle of the night to show them to her.

Finding $400 in my bag and crying because M had left it for me because she didn't want me to pay my way for our vacation. I cried because I was broke and I did need the money.

Badminton games with R. Her pinafore blending into the grey of the evening.

Playing with R's daughter who grips her pen in the same weird way that I do.

Suddenly waking up one day to realise that I am fat. Not obscenely so, but the love knobs turning to handles in a rather noticeable manner. Wondering if being away from the beautiful people set in b'bay had anything to do with it. Firm in my conviction that it had everything to do with how madras was just that - a colonial old world struggling to come to terms with the new. No beautiful people in sight. Not even at the best watering holes. Worse still, only one watering hole in the whole city that was worth wetting your beak at.

Jogging to PVD. Struggling with calf lifts of my own weight.

The college gym. Bench pressing my weight. Deadlifts and squats of more than 80kgs. Sigh. Was that really me!

I am getting old.

ubergeek, the