Who is being naive? Also on Gender sterotyping and how I am a victim ;-)

She thinks that she isn't beautiful and refuses to believe me when I tell her she is! She can't seem to believe me when I tell her that supposedly liberal people in India still ditch the loves of their lives to get married to some perfect stranger just because their parents want them to get into an arranged marriage with this man/woman who is from the same community, is succesful, rich etc etc. She finds it really hard to believe that people could really be so stupid and ruin their lives this way. I find it stupid too. But I know that is what most people here do end up doing. And what I nearly did myself

Most people I've known would call themselves practical and then go ahead and do something like this. Dump someone they've liked (and sometimes even loved) to get married to someone else just because it is what is 'expected'!!! And quite a lot of guys that I know find it all right to go through relationships which are just meant to be short flings before they get into an arranged marriage. Me - I've never wanted to get into a relationship where I wouldn't at least want to think about commitment - not immediately perhaps, but definitely sometime. Maybe that is one reason why a lot of people tell me that I think like a girl. Now why should that be? Why can't men want commitment just like women are supposed to? Screw gender stereotyping.

Hmm..that reminds me of an anecdote. I was sitting in a cafe with a friend of mine and I had just been telling her how a lot of people think that I'm gay and that I think like a girl. For instance, I get really upset when someone just gets up and starts getting dressed a few minutes after we finish making love. I want conversation!!! I want to cuddle up!!! She found that hilarious! I don't find it particularly funny. I mean, why should there be this gender thing about the way we feel and react. And I can never imagine how any man/woman can finish making love and then get dressed right after. Unless it was just a fuck!

I would do anything to keep a good relationship going. Change jobs, change cities, change the plan that I have for life. Do practically anything if it meant that I could be with the person I want. Does that make me any less of a man?

A documentary Z. saw concluded that men work out because they want other men to look at them and admire them. Not true. Of course, men look at each other at the gym. But that is in a very aesthetic sense. The way you would, as an artist, appreciate another. Body sculpting is as difficult as any other art ;-) And you'd realize that if you've tried yourself. I work out just because I can't stand to look at myself with even love handles. Forget a potbelly. I don't want to be Arnold Schwarzenegger. But I definitely want to look in the mirror and find myself aesthetically pleasing to myself. That is one thing that puts me off about women too. I just can't bear them to have any spare fat. Not a single inch extra. I don't mind much else.

ubergeek, the