I always thought that everybody's mind was like mine - you know those glass bowls with hundreds of shiny pieces of paper that keep fluttering about and you put your hand in and grab the shiniest, most colorful piece. That was what my mind was like - a hundred million thoughts with maybe a hundred of them fluttering around more visible than than the others. I reach in and grab and come up with probably one of the less colorful ones - something I was not trying to grab, but ended up grabbing just because it was fluttering so close to the others.
Now I learned that my blinding flashes of clarity, the sudden deep paranoia, the panic attacks were all because of a medical reason - I have Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. On meds now - and feel so calm and composed that I scare myself with the thought that I have lost all my passion.
And how did I find out - had to have a grand mal seizure driving 65mph on I-77 on a Friday evening and crashed into a tree. Totalled the car, but thankfully did nobody else any damage. Nor did I hurt myself too bad. Just a few stitches and a badly bruised elbow. Aren't I the luckiest bastard on the planet!
Well - this also accounts for some of my earlier episodes. I just read out the post on July 31, 2009 to my dad who happens to be a doctor and he said that it is a classic description of a petit seizure. So I am not crazy after all :-)
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3 comments:
Good to see you back :). DOn't worry, your creativity and passion will still be intact :)
Keep writing.
@Boundlessdreamz: Thanks :-) I hope it will. Feel pretty good now - in fact better than in years!
@full moon: I am going to start writing regularly again :-) Working from home now and have plenty of time on my hands!
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